Have you ever heard real life stories of people growing under non parents who talk as if the people who help them to that point did nothing? Or they talk ill-fully about these non parents and youll definitely conclude that such a person is ungrateful? Well kindly follow to the end of this article.
I am writing this article based on personal experience and experiences from others who also went through this same path. Also this write and judgments are drawn and subject to these experiences.
Individuals who stay and live with people who are not their parents are mostly young individuals. And staying with someone who is not your parents is almost the same as doing a house keeping job. Since the two are synonymous with respect to this article, Ill be using both interchangeably.Theres just a very thin line between the two, house keeping or staying with a non parent.
The thin difference is that the house keeper receives monthly or yearly payments. On the other side staying with a non parent , you hardly receive any reward, it is assumed as living with your parents who take care of your needs.
It is true that staying with a non parent , your immediate needs like food, clothing and education or learning a trade are taken care of. They are done on conditions, how much labor or work done as it is required. Although staying with your very parents you have to do house chores and other duties for the family needs. But that is not so when staying with a non parent , it is much like being a bond servant. Ill continue on this but I want to touch on why some individuals end up living with non parents.
Loosing a parent is mostly and easily the reason a child ends up living with a non parent . Notice that this write is not focused on staying with a close relative but rather a non relative because these days once the person is not any of your parents, Mom or Dad or older siblings its the same as living with a non relative.
After loosing a parent or both if you dont have any older siblings to take care of you, or not grown enough to take care of yourself this is likely to happen. Im not delving much on how things go this way but the focus is when actually you end up in that state, what you go through.
The second most likely way one ends up living with non parents is this;
Some close relatives or friends of your parents who are wealthier than your parents or living in big cities than yours will convince your parents to help raise you and give you a better life or education. Whether youre living in a good condition or not once these people are wealthier than your parents they can cunningly convince your parents to raise you in a better way.
Once this is successful , that is it, things can be so bad that unless the person you end up with is God fearing.
Theyll use and drain all the oil on the inside of you and at the end they can cook up stories before your very parents that youre a bad child or lazy or have a bad attitude and the list continues. And this happen when they try to brittle you in an inhumane manner and you resist or refuse it. Theyll talk as if you just only eat and sleep. Nothing you ever did is remembered.
Have you ever heard real life stories of people growing under non parents who talk as if the people who help them to that point did nothing? Or they talk ill -fully about these non parents and youll definitely conclude that such a person is ungrateful? This is because of the pain and abuse these people go through that when they weigh the abuse and the help received from these non parents, the abuse weighs heavier and they choose to talk from that angle.
First thing which happen to you living with a non parent is loss of value or self esteem. It is automatic, it has nothing to do with your looks and talents. It is even assumed that you lack wisdom and theres no linking reason to this but it is so true from these life experience.
The second is abusive words, rebuke , insults , harsh words which easily and naturally flows to your soul and ears in such an environment on daily basis.
Now the main thing is work or labor. Its so amazing how non parents can request outrageous work demands from individuals they are not family to.
Your health is not considered, how late or hazardous it may be, their focus and language is to get that thing done and that is all that matters to them.
Whenever youre rewarded or giving something, it is done solely to make you more convenient for them to continue to use and control but not to better you.
[So these days when someone is giving me something freely Its difficult for me to accept because they can buy your loyalty with such a thing without you consciously knowing . Your hands get tied up to agreements from such gifts.
People hardly give things for free these days , they have in mind something to take from you or demand something from you for such a gift or whatever it may be. And what they expect from you is way bigger or costly than what they give].
Most of the treatment and care you receive like food and others are poorly given. You can be denied certain kind of meals or denied protein foods like fish, meat and eggs.Sometimes too you sleep on empty stomach whiles theres food in the house and this is not done as a punishment. It can be said that you eat too much and base this treatment on it. Also you can be denied food as a punishment and that can last for about 3 days. You only eat by stealing, that is when your stealing is successful and not caught. When caught, beating can never be escaped.
When it comes to education or learning a trade, sometimes it is done because of the fear of what onlookers or neighbors will say or what they told your parents before taking you there. It is not done from their hearts. As such this kind of support is giving poorly, I mean very poorly.
Once youre not their child I do agree that you can not say youre entitled to help from them but the way youre used alone should entitled you to this kind of support.
As for sexual abuse if youre a lady in some homes, I wont touch on it here , it requires its own article.
All I want to say is that few individuals staying with non parents have a good time growing up with them but the rest is hell. And Ill like to use this platform to plead to anyone wholl be reading this that, if you here bad things about children in the homes of non parents or even house maids please find out the truth for yourself especially if the source of that information is from those non parents taking care of the child. Almost all of them abuse.
Also if you see an individual living with non parents, if possible and you can help them, give it a try or try and find out if theyre alright , we go through a lot. Some even go worse as to be like human trafficking.
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