Most Happy Couples Start Off As True Best Friends
You have a friend who knows the exact moment your smile turns fake, who has seen you cry over bad Indomie and worse exes. That person is also statistically the likeliest candidate to be your actual life partner. Go on, choke on your cold Star.
The evidence is clear, even if Hollywood likes to sell you the instant ‘love at first sight’ fairy tale that smells like cheap cologne and lies. Researchers found that roughly two-thirds of all current romantic relationships first began as platonic friendships, according to a 2021 meta-analysis by sociologists at the University of Victoria.
But this isn’t about scheming to leave the friend zone. You might think one person always secretly held romantic feelings, yet data shows otherwise. For 70% of these friends-turned-lovers, the romantic and sexual attraction only developed much later-after the foundation had already set like cement.
The average time spent in the 'just friends' phase? About 22 months, the same study revealed. This means the transition is a slow burn, not some hurried fire. That long, shared history-the countless inside jokes, the smell of roasted groundnuts you bought together on Lagos Bridge-is the very thing creating a relationship resilience most traditional dating cannot touch.
You already share values and you already know how to argue without breaking the bond. Experts from the Gottman Institute often point out that this strong friendship core leads to higher long-term satisfaction and superior conflict resolution skills. They call it loyalty, we call it knowing you can be yourself, completely.
And this friends-first pathway isn't just common; it is preferred. University students, when asked, rated the friends-to-lovers route as the absolute best way to start a romance, leaving blind dates and dating apps far behind.
Anyway, the scientists have finally caught up with what your grandmother told you years ago over a bowl of steaming pepper soup: marry your friend.
Yet, are you brave enough to risk a perfect friendship for a chance at forever?